


Perspective

by Pheonix500



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6979696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheonix500/pseuds/Pheonix500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story deviates from one of the usual character pairings to see how Karai might end up with a different brother than Leo.  </p><p>I've recently updated it to be a three shot at the suggestion of TheLadyOfSouls from fanfiction.net.  So now it's more like three short stories grouped together.</p><p>This is not in the TTB chronology.</p><p>Rated PG 13.</p><p>This one starts from Karai's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have no claims on anything TMNT, created by Eastman and Laird and currently owned by Viacom (to the best of my knowledge). This is just for fun and I have no intention to profit from this. Which is why I am happily turning it loose onto the internet. If anyone wants to use this story or my take on any of these proprietary characters for their own original work, alternate version of events, prequel, sequel, one shots or art, have at it and have fun. I really would like to see what comes of it.
> 
> Note: The inspiration for this story hit while reading Worth It by LakioMoMo. The author mentioned that there aren’t very many Donrai (or is it Karatello. I love the name mash-ups and add them in my head when authors write relationship stories without using them. Seriously, it’s like Mikey with naming stuff) fics in their author notes. 
> 
> I began considering why that was and concluded that it was primarily due to the complicated, already existing web of relationships established in the show and maybe a generally conflict of personalities that can only be bridged by time they don’t spend together. And so I began piecing together a scenario that might produce such a pairing, because once I start thinking about things, I can’t seem to stop. 
> 
> The obvious scenario involves the elimination of a few characters, but I’m not a big fan of killing off characters that I like and I’m not entirely sure that it counts, if they’re pulled together by loneliness, grief and limited options. 
> 
> So I came up with this, which turned out to be another Caphril story (squee name mashups), despite my affection for Apritello (I really will write some of those eventually. Although, after reading a great deal of varied fan fiction I have discovered that I have no aversion to any particular pairing if the writing is well done. If it’s a good story, I just roll with it.). It might go without saying, but this is a one shot, not in the TTB verse.

I am ready to scream. At the top of my lungs. And not stop until I am so hoarse that I have no choice. I can’t take anymore. I went into the dojo to find peace in the familiar motion of my katas. Not to have my every move nitpicked. 

“Where are you going? I’m just trying to help. You want to improve, don’t you?” 

I halt my furious stomp out of the dojo to turn and glare at Leo as he stares at me in innocent confusion. 

Of all the ways I’d envisioned my homecoming after accepting my true parentage, this was not it. When Donatello had finally, after several brutal encounters to obtain blood samples from me, managed to synthesize a cure as unique as my mutagen, I finally let them take me back, no longer terrified that I might turn on them at any moment. How naïve. 

Although, I still have momentary flashbacks to my serpent time, my turning on him has nothing to do with my mutation and everything to do with him driving me insane. Why had I thought this was going to work? 

Because of Leo, that’s why. He’d always fascinated me. Granted the turtle thing was a trip, but for some reason that didn’t throw me as much as his crazy sense of honor and responsibility. 

My inability to square that with my mental image of the nightmare enemies who had murdered my mother, kept me coming back. In my pursuit, I had even stopped noticing that he was an anthropomorphic turtle-person. He was just Leo. After being mutated into a snake, it seemed to matter even less. I’d thought that we were…that we would be…now that we were living together…but no. 

After discovering that I was Miwa, he’d gone hardcore into big brother mode. In the past few weeks, he’d made it unquestionably clear that I was his long lost sister and nothing more. Well that’s just great for him, but it doesn’t exactly clear up any of my confusion. 

I’ve always wondered what having siblings might be like, but this is ridiculous. Leo is so completely overbearing and protective that I spend most of my time with him restraining myself from punching him in the face. No wonder he drives his brothers crazy. 

And then there are my other brothers. Raphael just avoids me with a mixture of aggression and mistrust. He won’t dare make a move against me, but I can feel him waiting for me to screw this up, again. Michelangelo latched on to me like a friendly puppy, offering me food and his favorite toys and games until I cringed every time I hear him call out “Sis.” 

And the father I longed to know is still as distant to me as the one I walked away from. Being blood relatives does not change the fact that we are strangers trying to forcibly create a relationship that we both know will take time and effort. 

But we don’t want to do it slowly. He wants his daughter back and I want a father and we want it now and that just makes all of our interactions strained and awkward as we pretend things are already as they should be. They aren’t. He is still someone I barely know and hope that I can learn to love someday. 

At least Donatello has given me the space that I need. Not that he’s chosen to do so for my sake. Ever since April decided to explore the romantic side of her relationship with that hockey vigilante friend of Raph’s, he’s locked himself in his lab, working, only leaving to eat or use the restroom. That was nearly a month ago and might be part of the reason everyone has remained so focused on me. It is easier than trying to deal with their brother’s broken love life. 

“Miwa, I…” 

Why can’t he just call me Karai? I’ve already had so much upheaval. Is it so much to ask to keep one small familiar part of myself? 

“I’m done training for now.” 

“Well Mikey’s making some lunch, maybe you could…” 

“I’m not hungry.” 

Before he can continue smothering me with the wrong kind of affection, I turn on my heel and flee to the one place I know he won’t follow, Donatello’s lab. Slamming the door shut behind me, I sigh in blessed relief at the silence. Silence? Isn’t it usually a series of annoying mechanical sounds? I open her eyes and see Donatello, geared up for welding and hovering over the metal skeleton of some creation, staring at me in undisguised disbelief. 

“I just need to be away from them for a little while. Do you mind if I hide here?” He just shrugs, and pulls the mask back over his face, choosing to ignore me. Thank God. 

Although after standing there awkwardly for several minutes I realize that as much as I want to get away from everyone, I have no desire to be trapped with my own circular thoughts either. I have enough of that during my sleepless nights. And so I begin to wander, really looking at the lab for the first time. 

There are some familiar things: lights, computers, televisions, VCRs, audio speakers, DVD players, toasters, CD players, microwaves ovens, MP3 players, video game consoles, all in varying states of disrepair. But the bulk of the lab consists of things that I can’t begin to guess at, Frankenstein-like chimeras of technology that must serve some purpose or they wouldn’t be here. 

Looking at an old hand held video game system with egg beater antennae, I faintly recall it being some kind of device for tracking mutagen from my days…before. How can he take discarded trash and turn it into something that would make NASA drool? 

It suddenly occurs to me that the only reason this place is in such a livable condition is because of him. There is no way that any of the many communities of homeless people living under New York City have it remotely so good. And then he is in front of me snatching away a piece of a computer chip that I hadn’t even realized I’d picked up. 

“I said you could stay…just don’t touch anything.” 

I raise an eyebrow at him as he grumpily returns to his patched up, wheeled, office chair to write in a tattered old notebook, feeling more like my old self than I have in a while, whether or not that is a good thing. 

“Life down here would really suck without you.” 

He freezes and turns back towards me, incredulous. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Apparently, I have established a reputation for insincere mockery. That’s on me. 

“Exactly what I said. I didn’t think about it until just now, but everyone would have probably died a long time ago without you. This is an abandoned subway station in the sewers. There’s not supposed to be running water or electricity or heat or AC or even kitchen appliances. Does anyone realize how much you contribute to their quality of life?” 

I’ve clearly thrown him as he’s now shifting uncomfortably in his chair and avoiding my eyes. 

“We all contribute in our own ways. It doesn’t need to be acknowledged.” 

That would be a no. Well, if he wants to play it humble that’s his call, but I won’t ever forget that by repurposing garbage, he turned an abandoned hovel in the sewers into one of the more enviable living spaces available in New York. It demands respect. Despite my many other shortcomings, I know how to give respect once it’s earned. Feeling more comfortable in the lab now, I approach and take a look at his current project. 

“So what are you working on now?” He looks at me with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity, before finally giving in and answering. 

At first, his voice seems kind of rusty and he struggles to put his thoughts into words. I suddenly realize that he probably hasn’t really spoken to anyone since he locked himself in here. But he clearly loves his work and enjoys talking about it as his voice gains strength and confidence. 

For having earned my respect, I give him my full attention and work to understand everything he says and yet, to my surprise, I find what he’s saying actually interesting. More than interesting. Fascinating. I’d never before consider the miraculous intricacies by which the marvels of the modern world function. All my problems fade into the background as I lose myself in these new discoveries and I am more grateful than I’ve ever been for choosing to flee in here.

\-----

Unasked, I hand just the tool he needs while sitting on the stool beside him as he works, letting my mind boggle yet again at the fact that he’s building an actual plasma cannon for the Shellraiser. Out of scrap, salvaged from a junk heap no less.

My life has improved dramatically since I started seeking refuge in Donnie’s lab months ago. The distance it put between myself and my brothers made it possible to finally be civil towards them during meals and actually spend some quality time with each of them, generally videogames with Mikey, Space Heroes with Leo and sparring with Raph. 

This was also made possible by setting some boundaries between them and myself. They now know when I’m welcoming company and when they need to back off. The ever present tension that followed me around when I first arrived has completely dissipated. 

The time I spent in here also gave me a chance to think and put things in perspective. I believe I’m finally able to think of Leo as the brother he so desperately wishes to be, although there is still a phantom ache at times. 

And I actually made things right with my father. No more pretending. I laid bare all of my fears and concerns and admitted that I had no idea who he was. But I wanted to know him. Ever since we have set time aside each week during which I talk about my childhood, such as it was, and he tells me stories of my mother and his own life, either from before when he was human or later while raising my brothers. 

I can feel a true bond forming between us and it warms me from the inside out. So this is what it is like to be unconditionally loved and cherished. I never knew. Love was always something precarious, on the verge of being lost with any given mistake. A ghost I spent my whole life chasing with no hope of actually catching it. 

I can’t help but feel some regret on what I missed out on when the Shredder stole me, but after everything he made me do to my family I suppose I should be grateful for this much. It is still foreign to me that love is something freely given, that I don’t have to earn. Maybe someday I will be able to accept that as the natural state of things. 

My thoughts drift back to Donnie as I help him exchange one tool for another, knowing exactly what he needs. During my time with him, I’ve learned so much. I’d never really paid much mind to the scientists working under the Shredder. They were always so weak and terrified, shuffling through their tasks as they awaited the next blow.

But Donnie isn’t weak. Granted he has been neglecting his training a bit, although I’m helping to ease him back into it, but he is still a versatile and capable warrior. And he loves his work, motivated solely by this seemingly limitless flow of ideas that demand to find physical form. His enthusiasm is contagious. 

I was always so focused on my training, that I had no idea how unbalanced my life was until he opened me up to a world of other possible interests. He’s helped make me whole in so many ways. 

He pokes his tongue through that gap in his teeth and I can’t help but smile. He isn’t even aware that he does it. It’s, dare I say it, cute. I look past his expression of concentration to his shell. 

I don’t know if it’s true of normal turtles, but a least as far as my family is concerned, the patterns on their shells are as unique as fingerprints. And I have Donnie’s memorized. It always reminds me of those paintings by impressionist masters that are on display in museums. There’s a mesmerizing beauty to it that is easy to appreciate while I wait for him to need another piece of equipment. 

My eyes continue to rove as I recall my first impressions of him. I can’t believe I ever called him scrawny. What a shallow observation. He is taller and leaner than his brothers, but still impressively powerful as every muscle is still toned and solid. I should have described him as lithe. 

Having had greater chance to observe, I think it makes him a more elegant fighter, which is advantageous as ninjutsu requires a great deal of finesse to perform properly. Taken all together, he is beautiful. 

The moment the thought enters my head I freeze. No. Not again. I just got over Leo. What is wrong with me? Do I have some kind of turtle fetish? No, I would have fallen for them in any form. It’s who they are. First Leo. Now Donnie. Why do I choose men who can’t possibly return these feelings? And now I’ve gone and screwed up the best part of my new life. 

He looks up expectantly as, in my epiphany, I’ve failed to hand over the next tool and his brow knits in confusion at whatever expression must be plastered across my face. I can’t deal with this now. I need time to pull myself together if I’m to have any chance of acting normal. So naturally I do the least normal thing possible. To his astonishment, I flee. 

I tear out of the lab at top speed, past my startled brothers out of the lair and into the tunnels, not caring where I’m going as long as I’m putting distance between us. I run and run until I collapse shaking in an abandoned and structurally unsound subway tunnel. 

My long black hair falls in my face as I collapse against the wall breathing heavily from a mix of hard sprinting and crushing emotion. The tie must have fallen out. I usually keep it pulled back since allowing it to grow out. 

As my breathing normalizes, I slide down the wall and bury my head in my knees. What am I going to do? What will I say? How can I explain my actions? How can I go back to my life and pretend I’m not dying? 

I’m not sure how long I’m sitting there, but inevitably I hear someone approaching. 

“Karai?” Donnie’s the only one who still calls me that, at my request. He’s good at listening to people when they want to be heard. 

“Are the others coming?” I’m proud of how even my voice sounds. It definitely does not reflect the turmoil inside. 

“No. I told them that you didn’t have you’re T-Phone, so Leo had us split up to search. That’s when I tracked you.” 

He came for me alone? 

“If I’ve done or said something…” Oh God, he thinks this is his fault. I can’t allow that, no matter what it costs me. 

Shaking, I lift my head and meet his gaze knowing that my pain and desire are still clearly visible in my countenance. His eyes widen and his jaw drops. Now I need to salvage what I can of this relationship. 

“I don’t need pity. And I can control it or I will be able to. Things can continue as they have. I promise.” As I speak, I can see the emotional walls I hadn’t even noticed he’d constructed since April’s decision crack and begin to crumble, replacing his shock with wonder. 

I realize that despite my bold words, I’m crying and hate how vulnerable and weak that makes me look. At least I stopped wearing makeup or it would be a runny mess by now. Through my blur of tears, I realize that he’s kneeling in front of me. 

“Things can’t continue as they have.” His voice is thick with emotion. Before I can question what that means, he leans in pressing his mouth to mine, once again opening my sheltered existence to a world full of possibilities. I am finally home.


	2. Perceptive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues from Donnie's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have no claims on anything TMNT, created by Eastman and Laird and currently owned by Viacom (to the best of my knowledge). This is just for fun and I have no intention to profit from this. Which is why I am happily turning it loose onto the internet. If anyone wants to use this story or my take on any of these proprietary characters for their own original work, alternate version of events, prequel, sequel, one shots or art, have at it and have fun. I really would like to see what comes of it.
> 
> Note: Ok, I know that I said this would be a one shot, but at the suggestion of TheLadyOfSouls, I decided to expand it into a three shot instead. It will give me a chance to practice more with first person point of view writing, so that should be fun.

Normally, I have several trains of thought running simultaneously, not because I’m trying to think about many things at once, but because I can’t seem to rein my mind in. So when I say that I lost track of everything but this moment, it really means something. 

I have absolutely no idea how long I’ve been here or how long I’ll remain. And it doesn’t matter. There is no past or future. Only now and this kiss. I feel as though I’ve waited my whole life for it and yet somehow it’s completely unexpected. And then my phone rings and the moment is broken. 

With a sigh, I lean back. I’m not exactly sure what I’m expecting when I open my eyes. My insecurities still haunt me after April, but more than that I don’t want the agonized, broken expression to still be there. It astounds me that I can now think April’s name without crippling pain. Another gift from Karai. One of many that I didn’t realize I was receiving as she subtly saved me from myself. 

Mustering my courage, I open my eyes and she’s looking up at me with that mischievous smile I’ve come to know so well. I’m not sure at what point I started looking forward seeing it, but I’m truly relieved it’s there now. I don’t ever want to see her hurting that badly again. And I will find a way to make it up to her. If I hadn’t been so dense, she would have never had to suffer. Everyone tells me I’m brilliant, but it doesn’t feel true if I can be so oblivious to what is right in front of me. 

“Gonna answer that?” Right. My phone is still ringing. I have no idea how long we would have remained in this abandoned tunnel, lost in that first kiss, if not for the interruption. Part of me insists that we would have stayed indefinitely while a more rational voice points out mundane concerns like the need for water, food, sleep, calls of nature and air. I’m sure that I’m grinning like an idiot as I answer my phone. 

“Hey Leo.” 

“What took you so long to answer? I was starting to panic.” 

“Sorry Leo. I was distracted.” Karai doubles over with laughter, but somehow manages to remain silent. Honestly, I’m having trouble keeping from bursting out laughing myself. Only the knowledge of how Leo would take that reaction to his concern helps me keep it contained. 

“Distracted? We’re supposed to be looking for our sister. No one’s found her. I think we need to change our search pattern.” 

“Hold up. It’s ok Leo. I found her and she’s fine. We’re heading back now.” 

“You what?” 

“We’ll see you back at the lair.” 

“But…” 

I hang up. It’s probably wrong and I can apologize later, but I really want to savor this time with her. Especially as she wraps her arms around me and I can smell her hair. It’s not the scent of anything manufactured by companies trying to chemically reproduce the experience of nature. It is something uniquely her and by far better than anything else. 

“Are they going to freak out?” Oh absolutely. But I keep that thought to myself. 

“We’ll work it out. I promise.” I can feel her nod against me before she pulls away with an expression of fierce determination. 

“I’ll tell father when we get back.” I feel the first ripples of unease as my mind enumerates all of Sensei’s possible reactions, but that train of thought is derailed as she smiles again. 

“We’ll work it out. I promise.”

\-----

Unsurprisingly, my brothers have beaten us home. Not that we were in any hurry. Although I know perfectly well that gravity is functioning the same as it always has, I feel as though I am floating. Leo and Raph’s eyes grow wide as their attention zeroes in on Karai’s hand intertwined with mine. Mikey, as usual, remains clueless.

“You’re ok sis!” I see her brace herself as he scoops her up in a hug. “Great job D!”   
“Air!” Karai gasps and Mikey releases her. 

“Sorry sis.” She just shakes her head as she sucks in a few large gulps of oxygen. 

“No I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worried you.” 

“Nah. It’s cool.” 

Then she straightens her spine and sets her jaw. “I’m going to go talk to father.” I nod, knowing we’ve already agreed to it but can’t seem to suppress the sense of trepidation her announcement awakens. Then she unexpectedly kisses me on the cheek, causing my face to burn hot before she disappears towards Sensei’s room. 

If possible, Raph and Leo’s eyes are even wider and now Mikey has joined them, finally catching what he had missed before. For what is probably the first time ever, my little brother is completely at a loss for words and I take a moment to relish the experience. It may never happen again. Then his shock melts into awe and joy and I find myself nearly tackled by an exuberant Mikey hug. 

“This is awesome! I’m so happy for you guys!” 

“T-t-thanks.” 

“I’m going to make you a celebratory dinner!” 

“That’s not really necess…” 

“No peeking. I want it to be a surprise. Be in the kitchen at six.” 

“Mikey…” But he was already off towards the kitchen and there was no stopping him. Oh well. I might as well resign myself to what is likely going to be a very awkward meal. I hope he’s not feeling too experimental. We don’t all have an iron stomach. 

By the time I turn back towards my other brothers, they are gone. Uh oh. That can’t be a good thing. Well Raph is the easier of the two to find. I just have to follow the sound of angry punching. 

As expected, when I round the corner of the dojo, he’s on the other side of couch, destroying the training dummy. Not that this is an unusual occurrence or anything, but it concerns me that this is his reaction to finding out about me and Karai. I can’t figure out why he would even care. I approach cautiously, not sure how to address this development. 

“Uh Raph?” 

“Now’s not a good time Donnie.” 

“If this is about me, I’d rather get it over with now then endure weeks of tense brooding.” That was definitely the wrong thing to say. He freezes, and then slowly turns his head to glare at me. 

“Not everything is about you Donnie.” 

I put my hands up in a gesture of peace. “Fine. Fine. So we’re ok then?” 

“No we’re not ok. Are you insane? What is wrong with you? You just finally started getting over that whole mess with April. And what’s the first thing you do? Jump headlong into another disaster.” 

At first I’m shocked, but by the end of his sentence, I’ve moved on to blind fury. 

“Excuse me?” My tone has a cold hard edge to it and sounds completely unfamiliar to me, my own voice or not. Raph hears it too as he’s clearly taken aback. 

“The situations are completely different. My…affection for April was unrequited. What Karai and I have is mutual and she realized it before I did. And we both know what it is to be hurt, so we’ll be careful with each other.” 

“How can you be so sure? She’s still kind of a mess after everything that happened. And she was raised differently. What if she’s just getting back at Leo?” 

He stills as my fist comes flying towards him, but I maintain enough composure to redirect it at the last minute, tearing the training dummy’s head free of its metal hook. That’s fine. I can fix it later. Better the training dummy than my brother. There are a few moments of awkward silence as I struggle for self-control over my anger. To his credit, he has enough sense to wait without further outbursts or interruptions. 

“Give me some credit. I know you don’t think I have a lot of sense when it comes to these situations after April, but I knew how things stood with that. I always knew. But every part of it was beyond my control. I know how things stand with Karai too and it is real. Why are you so opposed to this?” 

“Because we’re not meant for it.” His voice is so quiet and unlike him, I almost don’t catch it. “We’re too different and they can’t ever see us that way. Not really.” 

My anger evaporates in an instant as I realize that he was right at the start. This isn’t about me at all. It’s about him. 

Whereas I always needed to believe in the possibility that someone out there could see beyond the differences, he needed to believe there was never any chance. It’s how he protected himself and made peace with it. And I was shattering that conviction. 

Maybe it was safer to believe that, to make the loneliness more bearable, but letting go of hope would condemn him to that fate. I didn’t want that for him and wouldn’t allow him do that to himself, even if he was afraid. Raphael afraid? What a strange thought. He might tease Leo about being fearless, but I always thought that word described him better. That or reckless. 

“We’re not as different as you think.” 

He scowls. 

“It’s worth it. I promise you it is. Just…try to have some faith.” 

He doesn’t agree but he’s not arguing either. 

“Think about it.” 

He nods stiffly and I understand that’s the best I’m likely to get out of him. As I leave him to consider things, I wonder where Leo might have gone. Normally it would be the dojo, but since Karai went that way to see Sensei, I doubt that’s where I’ll find him. And then I detect a hint of homemade incense. The kind Sensei makes to aid with meditation. I follow the trail to Leo’s room. 

Leo’s disappearance has me the most unnerved. For the longest time we were all each other had, aside from Sensei of course. As much as we often drive each other insane, we’re too close to tolerate being apart for too long. 

We’ve been that way for as long as I can remember, with my recent break down over April being greatest stretch of isolation from them in my entire life. I was drowning without them and didn’t even realize it until Karai slowly and carefully coaxed me back to my family. 

The thought that Leo, my big brother and my leader, my solid foundation, might not forgive me for this, is devastating. I can’t even imagine life with that bond broken. Trembling, I enter without knocking, unusual for me. 

Leo is sitting crossed-legged on a mat on the floor, trying to focus. His eyes barely open as I barge in, but enough to acknowledge my presence. 

Now that I’m standing in front of him, I’m at a loss for words. Somehow I need to fix this and I have no idea where to begin. Starting to panic a bit, I lean back against the wall and slide to the floor. Burying my head in my arms, I say the first thing I that comes to mind, completely unfiltered. 

“I’m so sorry Leo. Please don’t hate me.” 

The silence stretches out for what seems like an eternity before he plops down beside me in a very un-ninja-like manner. 

“I don’t hate you Donnie. I could never hate you. No matter how much we fight or drive each other crazy, you don’t ever need to question that. We’re family, unconditionally.” 

I nod and feel like I can finally breathe again. “I’m still sorry. It wasn’t…I never intended to hurt you. I wouldn’t. It’s just…” 

“It’s ok Donnie.” 

“What?” 

I stare at him in disbelief and he just sighs as he considers how he wants to word his response. 

“It’s not like that between me and Miwa. Not anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time.” 

“Because she’s our sister?” I suddenly wonder if my affection for her is in some way aberrant. 

He chuckles dryly. “Because she’s my sister. Somehow, I doubt that’s what she is to you.” 

 

I flush and look away. “But how…?”   
“I always had faith that she could be better than she was. That there was a good person within her trying to escape the dark web of lies that was her existence. Throughout everything, I never lost that. Not for an instant. 

“But it was a long and brutal road bringing her home. There’s only so much a heart can break before it starts healing wrong, so I needed to change. I could forgive my sister so much more than I could a potential lover. Unconditional remember? So I focused everything on bringing Sensei’s daughter, my sister, home. It was hard and took a lot of time and effort to change the way I saw her, but I did it. 

“I’m not upset with you at all. In fact I’m happy for you. You’ve been good for each other these past months. I’m glad. I just…when I realized that you were together and that it didn’t hurt, that I was ok with it, more than ok with it, it just felt like an era of my life was over. I just needed some time to let go of a part of my childhood, that’s all.” 

I sigh in relief. “Thanks Leo.” 

He gives me a wry grin. “We don’t always end up with the first girl to smile at us.” 

Despite the misery of the past several months, I return his grin, knowing how true that is. “No. We don’t.”

\-----

I’m back in my lab, sitting at my desk. Of their own accord, my hands are repairing a motion sensor for the lair’s security system as I try to process the day’s events. It’s been kind of overwhelming, but I’m content.

“Donatello.” 

The motion sensor goes flying across the room as I yelp and flail widely, suddenly aware that Sensei is beside me. I really wish he wouldn’t do that. 

“S-s-sensei?” 

“I have been talking with Miwa.” 

I gulp. I totally forgot that I was dreading this inevitable conversation. 

“I understand that you two are now romantically involved?” 

Anxious, I grab the first thing off my desk that’s in reach, a screwdriver as it turns out, and begin twirling it in my fingers to redirect some of my excess nervous energy. 

“Hai Sensei. Is that ok?” I finally risk meeting his eyes. They are as calm and caring as they always have been and I realize that I’m not in trouble. 

He strokes his beard thoughtfully before answering. “You both have been going through a difficult time recently and have taken admirable care of each other. I have no qualms about entrusting my daughter’s heart to you, for my son, you have grown into an honorable and compassionate young man.” 

I sag back into my chair in relief. 

“That said, if you ever hurt her, the consequences will be dire indeed.” 

At his stern tone, I straighten up and nod. “Hai Sensei. Of course.” 

His brief, harsh demeanor fades and he smiles. “After all, I told her the same thing.”


	3. Introspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues from April's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have no claims on anything TMNT, created by Eastman and Laird and currently owned by Viacom (to the best of my knowledge). This is just for fun and I have no intention to profit from this. Which is why I am happily turning it loose onto the internet. If anyone wants to use this story or my take on any of these proprietary characters for their own original work, alternate version of events, prequel, sequel, one shots or art, have at it and have fun. I really would like to see what comes of it.

I feel lighter than air as I make my way back through the familiar tunnels. It’s like going home in a lot of ways. I’ve been on cloud nine since Leo called to say I could resume my training. And now that Raph’s able to go out with Casey again, without feeling like a traitor, maybe I can finally sleep at night without worrying whether or not he’ll make it back. 

It’s been almost a year since I’ve been away. Well not quite that long, but close. I knew when I made my choice that there would be some fallout, but I hadn’t anticipated the extent of how badly it would go. 

I knew Donnie would be hurt when I chose to be with Casey. He loves me or at least he did. Even if I didn’t possess psychic powers I would have known that. He’d never been particularly subtle about it, despite his best efforts. But I had to make a choice. Stringing both of them along indefinitely was cruel and unfair. I knew there would be a cost, but just not how much. 

When I decided on Casey, I assumed that, sooner rather than later, Donnie would forgive me and we could be friends again, but I badly underestimated the blow I had dealt him. I still cherish the hope of eventually getting my friend back, but I know now to proceed with caution. 

For the time being, I need to focus on reconnecting with my other brothers and getting back into the flow of my training. I’ve tried to keep up with it on my own, but without any guidance, I know that my skills are embarrassingly rusty. I hop the turnstiles using one hand, careful not to drop the peace offering I’m holding in the other. 

“Hi guys!” 

Raph is on one end of the couch reading a comic book, while Leo’s on the other watching Space Heroes. Some things never change. They both look up and smile. 

“Hey.” 

“Aaaappprrriiillll!” 

And then I’m tackled to the floor in an enthusiastic hug. Kunoichi skills are definitely getting rusty if I didn’t see that one coming. 

“And she came bearing pizza! You are the best.” 

“Thanks Mikey. Can I get up?” 

He grins and helps me to my feet, but doesn’t relinquish the pizza boxes. Leo and Raph are watching him warily lest he abscond with them. I can see Karai coming out of the dojo looking amused. I’m about to go searching for the person that I’m most hoping and dreading to see when he pokes his head out of the lab. 

“What’s going…oh.” Our eyes meet briefly and while there’s a moment of sadness, it passes quickly. I’m relieved to see how well he appears. Mikey bounds over to him to display the pizza boxes with a flourish. 

“Check it out! The boxes say gor-met pizza.” 

“Gourmet.” Correcting his brothers is still apparently automatic. 

“Is that like super pizza?” 

He shakes his head affectionately. “I don’t know. You’ll have to eat some and find out.” 

Mikey gazes down at the boxes in awe and suddenly I hope that the pizza parlor’s claims at being the best pizza in New York are based on something. I’d hate for Mikey to be disappointed. 

And then Karai is next to Donnie, intertwining her hand with his and resting her head on his shoulder while they both watch Mikey reverently remove a piece of pizza. Even if I hadn’t been able to comprehend what I was seeing, the wave of love that hits my extrasensory perception is impossible to block out. 

Time seems to slow to a halt and I can’t breathe as realize that Donnie and Karai are together. How the hell did that happen? I thought Karai liked Leo. I know I’ve been gone for a while, but I just assumed… 

Honestly I assumed that Donnie would still be here waiting for me. It’s why I chose Casey despite feeling equally drawn towards them both. If I chose Donnie, Casey would hurt and move on. But a part of me, without me even realizing it, expected Donnie to be waiting for me forever in case I ever changed my mind. 

As I reel from the loss of Donnie, my epiphany at least grants me to the grace to feel ashamed. Donnie’s the best person I know. He deserves better than being my backup guy. And so, despite my breaking heart, I’m happy for him. Not that I have a lot of room to talk here, but if she doesn’t treat him right, I don’t care that she is Sensei’s daughter or how much kunoichi training she has, I will take her down. 

Time ticks back up to its regular pace and I work to breathe normally as they all lay enthusiastically into the pizza. I approach cautiously and become aware that, without realizing it, I’ve gravitated towards Donnie. He looks over at me questioningly, unsure of what to say. I flick my eyes towards Karai and manage a smile. 

“Congratulations.” 

He flushes slightly but nods. “Thanks.” 

Another awkward silence. I know this is my first time back in forever after what I did to him and that I still haven’t fully processed the reality that he has moved on, but I can’t stop myself from asking. 

“Are we ok?” 

He doesn’t immediately offer any false assurances. Accuracy was always important to him and I respected that about him. 

“I don’t know.” 

“But will we be?” 

He looks back at me and gives me that gap toothed grin that I haven’t seen in the longest time. 

“Yeah, we will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I don’t foresee continuing this plot line. A comment by another author presented the challenge in my mind and then I couldn’t set it down. Although I suppose Micherai or Karangelo would also be tricky to make work too, I should probably quite while I’m ahead. On the upside, I did get to practice writing in the first person, so that got me out of my comfort zone. I always feel a bit confined using that point of view and tend to avoid it. Also, I have a lot of trouble picking a tense and sticking with it while writing first person. I’ll give this a few editing read throughs before posting, but if there are still shifts between past and present, I apologize for the inconsistency.


End file.
